Time Goes by...

Sequel

2012-02-18T16:11:00.003-06:00

Instead of adding onto the last post, I'm just making a sequel. This first picture is just a picture of the construction zone in the living room.

These are pictures of the closet in the spare room that we revamped (yes, I was a little involved in this project). Again, I don't have a before picture so you can see the drastic difference. Now I have a place for my ironing board(that I rarely use-but hey...). The picture hanging in the closet is very near and dear to J's heart. I think it's beautiful, but it's just not my style. I told him he could keep it in the spare room, but he said he would put it in the closet. So that is why there is a huge picture hanging in the closet. I think it goes very well in there. :) Hopefully I'll have pictures soon of the bathroom.

The Rebirth

2012-02-18T15:11:00.004-06:00

We've been doing some remodeling. Some, as in, A LOT.

On the list is: the spare room-from this pic you can see the remnants of the door that used to be there to the closet. For some reason there were 2 doors to the closet. J drywalled it in. As you can see, our house has been a work zone for some time. I left for work one day with the room looking as it did in this first picture.

Picture #2: What I saw when I got home from work (I call it my Valentine's present):

View #2:

It was kind of nice that the spare room was all finished without me having to do anything. It was like magic.

On the list #2: We've been wanting to do something with our coat closet. It was actually part of the living room at one point. Someone thought it would be a brilliant idea to make the living room smaller, and put a closet it. One thing this house is not short on is closet space. We threw around the idea of getting rid of it altogether. As you can see, we didn't. I regret to say we didn't take a "before" picture. We took out the rickety wood shelves, tore up a nasty carpet remnant, and found some beautiful wood floors. Found some "oops" paint at Lowe's for $5, and painted it up. (By the way: if you are not picky on paint colors, look at Home Depot, Lowe's or Sherwin Williams before buying a paint can for full price. You'll spend $5-10 instead of $35-40, and there are some great colors sometimes!) Instead of putting the plain white-plywood-looking doors back on, I just hung a curtain (clearance at Target).

Right now we (HA! who are we kidding?) Joel is in the process of remodeling the upstairs bathroom. The people that were hired to move plumbing/put new flooring/fix the bathroom up before we moved in...were less than successful. There are many reasons why they should not be allowed to do "construction work" EVER again. I don't have enough typing room. I digress. Anywho, the remodel consists of tiling the shower/floor/insulating/drywalling/moving plumbing/new toilet/installing a new vanity/getting rid of the big window and replacing it with a small one-which will lead to doing some siding on the outside of the house/painting/installing an outlet that works. ...{deep breath} That's why I'm blogging right now. I'm leaving it up to the expert. One of the greatest things I ever did was marry a contractor. So far, it looks fabulous. I'm going to wait until I can show the whole picture, rather than sneak peeks. Stay tuned!

Hangin' Out

2012-01-14T14:55:00.004-06:00

Sorry, I can't figure out how to turn the pictures the correct way. You'll just have to accomodate by turning your head or computer sideways. This is my new craft obsession. I love making them! I take custom orders. :)

2011-12-17T09:38:00.004-06:00

I have a different relationship with God then I have ever had...or ever thought could be. I never really understood God...well, I don't still. But I think I understand a little bit more than I did a few months ago. God has worked wonders in my life. I came to Him, finally at my lowest point. I tried as long as a I could without Him, and finally gave in. It only took 24 years. Because I can't see Him, I kind of picture Him as my imaginary friend. You know when kids are young, some have an imaginary friend that goes everywhere with them? Well, my imaginary friend is very prominent, very real when I am in my car. I have the best conversations with God when I'm in my car. Anywhere else, it would just seem like I was talking to myself. That is pretty much what it looks like, but I know God is sitting next to me, listening to every word. One night I was driving home very discouraged, crying, and just wallowing in self pity. When I heard some song come on the radio (I've become a fan of JoyFM...listen to it all the time). I wish I could remember what it was. Anyway-I was listening to this song, and talking with God. Next thing I know, I just started smiling, and laughing out loud! I was so confused, but so happy! It's like God was telling me, without words, "Life is bigger than you. I am bigger than you. Don't get so bogged down with these things." Maybe that's why I was laughing. My worries seem so small when I step back. I heard on the radio about a month ago a lady said "What God sets out to do, He will accomplish. We are all right smack dab in the middle of his hand." He has control! That's so freeing! We can't do anything that God doesn't allow. Most of the time He allows us to do things so we'll fall on our face, see our sin, and see that He is the only way. Needless to say, God is my friend. He is no longer some far off being (though, the further I get from Him, that's how it seems) We have great car rides together...that's the time when I feel like I can just spit out everything. One of the things that makes Him the greatest friend ever is He always listens.

My Quirky Self.

2011-11-10T16:39:00.003-06:00

1. I am very OCD about having my duvet cover face the right way. If the buttons aren't at the feet of the bed, life is not right.

2. I hate having to use nail polish remover. I'd rather just paint over the nail polish I have on.

3. I feel the need to have my living room clean, but hate cleaning any other room.

4. When I bake or cook from a recipe, it's inevitable that I will forget something. I'll forget the pinch of that, or to mix the ingredients separately. I'm terrible at following those directions.

5. I don't shop very well with other people. I find better stuff when I go by myself.

6. I have terrible road rage...

I can only think of 6 things right now, so I guess that makes me not very quirky, right?

To My Mom

2011-11-05T14:32:00.003-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX-04oKskFs&ob=av2e

I grew up with four brothers. I never had a sister...it was disappointing at times, but I do have a mom. Growing up as a teenager, I was a brat. I was a super smart-a**. Sorry, Mom and Dad. I like to think I've grown up a bit since then. Lately, I have had some very good conversations with my mom. She is a very intelligent woman. She seems to have a perfect answer for everything. I know that I can go to my mom with any question, when I need advice, or just to let all my word-vomit come out jumbled or not. I love you, Mom. I am so honored and thankful for you.

One of God's Men

2011-10-18T09:45:00.003-05:00

I don't know what to feel anymore. Death is such a crazy thing. Especially when it sneaks up behind you and takes someone you would have never expected. My uncle went to his heavenly home a few days ago, and today is his funeral. I was always instructed by him to "not tell any of my brothers, but I was his favorite." He was one of the nicest guys you would have ever met. He had such a passion for Christ, his family, and the people around him. I envy that. A stranger on the street could tell that he was a loving man. I remember whenever our family would visit, he would take us to a restaurant, and always engaged in a conversation with everybody...especially anyone he could speak Spanish to. I've struggled with a few things seeing his body at the visitation. Its so hard to think about why God chooses to take certain people before others. Why would he take Uncle J and leave his family mourning behind him? No one may ever understand why God does the things he does. Uncle J's life on earth is over. His journey is complete. He now gets to enjoy the life that he lived for, and he gets to see Jesus face to face. Can you imagine?! It puts things into perspective. It's so easy...SO easy to get distracted by all of the tasks of the day that we forget we have a higher purpose. We have another life that we are living for. My heart breaks for my uncle's family, but it's also such a relief that he's safe, and happier than he has ever been.

Blessings

2011-10-13T18:18:00.002-05:00

There is a song that has been a constant encouragement to me through the last couple of weeks. I haven't tired of it yet. It's by Laura Story, and it's called "Blessings". Hope it encourages you also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

I've had an epiphany!

2011-10-04T06:52:00.003-05:00

As you may or may not know, I grew up in a Christian family. When I was 21, I graduated nursing school, moved out of my parents' home and was living with a roommate(we went to nursing school together). I have always struggled with my relationship with God. I was an off-and-on Christian, but I knew how to make it look real, and say the right things. I met my husband in fall 2009, and I couldn't believe I had randomly found such a great Christian guy(I know it wasn't random). From then on, my "relationship with God" slowly just burnt out. I didn't see why I needed God. I mean, what's so hard about living with the man that you love with all of your heart? Here's the answer: On Sunday, I went to church for the first time in who knooooows how long. We were going to a church steadily every week for maybe a month, then we just stopped. We got busy, we had other priorities, we moved, I started school. You name the excuse, we had already thought of it. After that, I just lost the desire to go to church at all, I lost any desire to know God. In fact, I even struggled with God's existence. That is until last Friday when the communication thing came up...again. I've struggled with how I communicate, trying and trying to make myself different so I can be more open with my husband. I was at my lowest, because I didn't know what to do, how to change, how to be happy, how to feel satisfied. Life just felt so empty for some reason. I went over to my brother and sister-in-law's apartment to ask them for advice. They asked-"Do you go to church anywhere?" Uh, no. I don't really have a desire to. My sis-in-law said "Don't wait until you have a desire to. Maybe you get the desire from actually going and being a part of it." I thought that was very interesting...I had never thought of it like that. I was just waiting around for God to zap me with his "Desire wand" and I would magically want to go to church and read my Bible. So, I committed to going on Sunday. I went to the Journey. My parents and I used to go there a lot, before I got married. On my way there, I prayed and prayed, selfishly asking if God would make the sermon just for me. Oh, boy did He! Usually I'm distracted by everything, and watching everybody around me. But for that hour, it was just God, the pastor and me in the back pew. I actually took notes, because I didn't want to lose any of what I learned. The sermon was called "Jesus and Losers". It was about Mark 3 when Jesus was calling the disciples to follow him. I am just going to share what I wrote in my journal:

"It's so easy to "do work for God", but not put God first in work. If you love God first before you love your husband, you will love him more. When we try to love people without loving God first, the energy is coming from us, and not God. And we burn out easy. For the longest time, I've felt like I can make marriage work on my own. I have come to a broken, empty spot and God is the only one that will fill that. God would rather deal with us openly, but most of the time, we don't let Him, so He has to use difficult circumstances."

I cried through about half the sermon. Caught my breath. Went and shook the pastor's hand as I was leaving, knew that I needed to pray with someone, and started bawling again. I was led to a younger lady, and she listened to me tell my story as I sniffled, and had the crazy cry-hiccups. And she prayed with me. A complete stranger cared about my well-being. I believe that this is the circumstance that God is using to bring me back to Him. If we don't have God in common, what do we have? Everything else that we built up is just gonna sink when the waves and hardships come crashing through. I wanted to share this with everybody that sees this, because I'm hoping that it may encourage someone else too.

What did you say?

2011-10-01T21:55:00.004-05:00

Why is communication so hard? How can an introvert and an extrovert live in perfect harmony? The answer is "there will be conflict". When I met my now husband, I thought everything would be just grand when I got married. It was. It's been about a year and a half now since we tied that knot. When I met him, I was shocked how similar we were. It was just bizarre how two people could be raised miles and miles apart, yet have very similar families and backgrounds. We had so many things in common. We still do. One area we are very different in is our communication styles. You have not met an extrovert until you have met my husband. He will talk to anyone he meets anywhere. Me, on the other hand-I do my thing, and try to get it done as soon as possible without having to talk to anyone. I don't even know if it's possible for me to become a "talker". My parents can attest to me holding everything in. When I was growing up, my anger would lead me to lock myself in my room, and it was a very quiet anger. I hated to let anyone see me cry. I still hate it, but it seems like I'm always an emotional mess these days. I was very stubborn, hard-headed, and knew that I was right about pretty much everything. I still struggle with each of those items, and maybe I always will. The thing is, I've met my match. But he is very open, and opinionated, and knows the perfect words to say in every situation. When I enter an argument or debate, my mind turns to Jello. It's amazing how it works, and awful because I can't articulate exactly what I feel needs to be said. And, like clockwork, I'll usually end up shutting down if I feel like he is winning. I back away into my own head where it's nice and safe and warm. My little world where I know I'm right, but I'm the only one who seems to know it. The communication thing will probably always be an issue. Only when my oldest brother moved back from California did my husband understand my quietness, and my lack of words. I never would have guessed my brother and I are so similar. The other day, I had asked my bro and sis-in-law "Do you guys have any communication issues?" P said "Pshh. No"(sarcastically). His wife, in return said "Yes we do!" It was kindof refreshing in a way knowing that we are not the only married couple that has downfalls. I have always held back my emotions, or tried to. Maybe it is because I grew up with four brothers, that I felt it was weak to show my true feelings. That will probably always be a struggle for me-although I hope not. Marriage can be wonderful, and yet, other times, I can be so frustrated. As my brother reminded me "the rough patches keep coming." I know we will always have rough patches, as does every couple. (if you don't, please tell me your secret). And communication is going to have to be part of our first aid kit.

My new favorite blog:

2011-08-19T10:04:00.001-05:00

tipjunkie.com. Check it out!

Movin' right along

2011-08-17T15:51:00.006-05:00

This is it. Our new home in 2 weeks. I've been so antsy to move in, and apparently my husband is too. The past few days that I've had to work all day, I came home to an apartment with more and more boxes filled. Every room is full of boxes, every wall and shelf is empty. He even completely cleaned out the main bathroom-it echos when the door is opened. It's so exciting to be moving on with the next step of our lives. Party at my house!

In my attempts to assist with packing, I was finally pulling the Christmas lights off of our patio...yes...only a few months late. We had used a staple gun to put up the lights, so it made it very difficult. Halfway through, I looked at my hand, and this is what I found:

In other news, my brother, sister-in-law, and niece moved back from California! It's so good to have them back. It's so fun to say "Hey, I'm coming over, let's do something." I love having them here.

I start school on Monday...online. I'm finally getting my Bachelor's degree in nursing. I have mixed feelings about it. I got my books in the mail today, and just looking at the cover bores me. Hopefully I'll be able to get through this.

Anywho...that's the update for my life...

Little Beauty

2011-03-17T21:32:00.002-05:00

I just returned from California where I got to meet my brand new niece. My oldest brother and sister-in-law made such a beautiful little girl! So many different emotions! It's so sweet seeing my brother...the goofy, bad-A personal trainer-big time manager, and when he gets home he's just "daddy". He is so gentle with his new little pink bundle. He burps her, tells her it's ok when she spits up all over his clean shirt, reminds me to how/when to change her diaper. She is so tiny in his arms, but he's so in love with his little girl. My sister-in-law is already a great mother-from the songs she's already teaching Ems, how she comforts Ems when she has her blood-curdling cry going on. Then, I got to see "Grandma's" first sight of her first granddaughter. She was so excited, smile ear-to-ear, repeatedly saying "I can't wait to get my hands on her!" This little girl has melted everybody! Her independant personality is already showing. She appears to be happiest when she's just chillin' on her back...not being held. She also doesn't appear too fond of holding anyone's fingers with her tiny hand. She is so precious-from her creased eyes, button nose, voluptuous lips to her long fingers and feet. She's so perfect, and I wish she was closer. The next time I see her, she'll probably look completely different.

Moving forward-->

2011-03-09T23:54:00.003-06:00

Things I miss:

Edinburg...that is, our old house on Edinburg.
falling asleep on the couch while watching a random tv show with my parents
sitting around the tiny kitchen table late at night with everybody...finding snacks to eat, and just having a grand ol' time.
playing baseball/"500" in the backyard with my brothers
our fireplace...it was one of my favorite things. To this day, I love homes with fireplaces.
rollerblading in the basement
helping Dad with changing oil on the cars, building bbq pits and mailboxes
watching movies on a projector at Thanksgiving with everybody crammed in one room laying on the floor
all the laughs, and closeness with my family

Things I look forward to:

spoiling my beautiful brand new niece
seeing my husband hold our future children
buying our first house
my marriage only growing stronger
seeing what God has for me...not only this year, but the next 70!

I'll be there!...in spirit...

2010-12-10T09:28:00.003-06:00

So I gots a new job...started a few weeks ago training. It's a job in the hospital as a float pool nurse. Quotes from loved ones:

"So...you're gonna be a REAL nurse now?"-my wonderful husband
"What's the float pool? I thought it had to do with an actual pool!" -cousin A.

Being in the float pool means I am used wherever they're short on nurses. If the 6th floor needs a nurse-I am there. So on and so forth...

____________________________________________________________________

The drawbacks:

I have to work 3 12-hour nights a month.
I will probably never be comfortable in the hospital because of not having a permanent floor, and working with different staff every day.

____________________________________________________________________

The awesomeness/the things that made me apply for the job:

I get to make my own schedule.
I only have to work 2 holidays a year (as opposed to every other at my previous job)
my managers/supervisors are great
my husband likes to come eat lunch with me
more experience in the nursing field

__________________________________________________________________

On the subject of working nights:

It's tough the first night. Trying to switch around the sleeping schedule..."well, if I wake up early, then I can take a nap in the middle of the day, then I'll be prepared for my shift at 7 pm." Nothing I've tried really works. It's just not meant to be...working while everybody else is sleeping, tucked nicely in their beds, with sugarplums........you get the idea. Then, you get hungry in the middle of the night because now you're eating schedules off...so here you go down to the cafeteria at one in the morning, eating anything you can get your hands on. On the other hand, there are usually no family members, therapists, transporters, etc there to harass you. On the other hand, if all your patients do what they're supposed to and sleep all night, the night goes by suuuuper slow. You've never seen a second hand that takes hours to go around the clock! Not to mention, when you get off, you have to drive the treacherous drive home. Picture this: pulling an all-nighter, while having to stay alert enough to give the right medications to the right patient, and make sure they're still breathing,(for 12 hours straight), then they expect you to drive home and stay alive. Your eyelids have never been heavier. The good thing is, when I get home, you will never see someone sleep so soundly-and don't expect me to do much...or anything until about 5 pm that evening. It's weird...it just throws everything off. More power to these people that only work nights-shout out to my cousin-in-law Ari-who has kids too. That's amazing.

Anywho...

If you're still there...

2010-11-11T13:12:00.002-06:00

I've been terrible at relationships lately...well, for a while actually. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all of my used to be close friends or relatives that I may have pushed away. I don't really have an explanation...which sucks. I guess I've just gotten too lazy to want to put energy into relationships. It sounds terrible, and I don't want to be like that. Since I've gotten married, I guess I've felt like I shouldn't really/haven't wanted to really do anything with friends if J wasn't hanging out also. And it's my own self that has made me feel like that. I don't know if that is normal for newlyweds...or not. Doesn't sound normal. J has always supported my independence, and if I mentioned I'm hanging out with someone else, he has been like "ok, cool!"I guess I've just been hurt too, to a point that I don't want it to happen again. I used to have close friendships, and now I just feel so lonely, like I've been distanced from everybody I was ever close to. And I don't know what to do or how to change it. I don't want to just be a home-body and hang out with my husband all the time. Although, I love him to death. I feel like there is so much that I've pushed myself away from so I can try to be the perfect wife, and have the perfect marriage. Sorry, I will never get there. I'm slowly realizing there's more to life--there needs to be more to life. So, I'm sorry to each and every one of you that feels like I've distanced myself. I don't want to. I'm working on it, and there is a lot of work to be done.

Up to Date

2010-11-08T19:57:00.002-06:00

It is so hard to be a faithful poster. The hubster and I went to a marriage seminar this weekend in Cape Girardeau, held by Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham(apparently 2 well-known writers/speakers). It was really a great time. I never pictured myself going to a marriage seminar, but anything that can make a positive impact on my marriage, I am all for! One thing that was mentioned was "it's not about winning". In an argument, if your spouse "loses", you do too. We're a team, and we're in it together. I can't believe how much I love this man, and have only known him for a little over a year. Just last week, I was making a diaper cake for a friend, and I didn't have any rubber bands to hold all the diapers together. I asked J: "Do you have any rubberbands anywhere?" He said "No, do you want me to go get you some?" I didn't want him to go out in the cold after a long day of work just for some rubberbands. It was so sweet that he would even offer. This man loads the dishwasher, cooks, does laundry, and will go out of his way to get me anything I need. We'll be out somewhere or driving, and he'll ask "Are you thirsty?". He is always looking out for me. Just the other day, my mom and I were at lunch and she said "Did you marry your dad?" It's so weird, and bizarre. But wonderful. Oh, and I'm starting a new job next week. Long awaited...I'm moving on over to the float pool in the hospital. And contrary to what my cousin thought, it has nothing to do with swimming. I will be working where I initially was when I worked as an aide. I will be "floating" around to different floors for my shifts...wherever I'm needed. I just pray that I might actually enjoy it. I can't think of anything else that is new right now. Hopefully it'll be sooner than a few months before I update you again.

Happy, happy, joy, joy

2010-08-20T10:47:00.002-05:00

Well, I finally broke down and joined a gym again...and got a personal trainer. Let me tell you all-having that person to kick your butt, get you in gear and keep you accountable is priceless. I actually enjoy going to the gym most of the time. I'm not in marathon shape like some of you--and don't know if I will ever be, but I'm doing what I can. I have so much more energy!

Let's see...what else is new? I got a parking ticket yesterday--but I was totally not in the wrong. I mean it. We are at a shortage of parking spaces at our lovely apartment complex, so that if you are gone late in the evening, you might as well just get a hotel because you'll be parking so far away. So there's this median-circle area thing with grass in the middle, and half-way around it, it's painted yellow and says "no parking-fire lane". BUT...the other half of it is not painted. So, naturally, I feel like it's ok to park there. Sure enough...there's a ticket on my windshield the next morning. Sooooo mad... If only these morons wouldn't park their tiny little motorcycles in a huge parking spot. Sorry if you drive a motorcycle, but I've come to not like them. If only these people with a random trailer from arkansas wouldn't take their month vacation in st charles, and use up our parking space. If only they didn't make "walking lanes" instead of parking spaces. If only the cops would find something better to do with their time. OH...cops...that's a whole 'nother story. I guess all I can do, is give the stupid government my $45 and get on with my life.

The antique bug has caught me again. J and I had been looking for something to put in the guestroom to replace all of the horrible furniture we've had in there. We looked at several antique stores, World Market, Target...everywhere. We finally go to Hood's which is kindof liquidation-type stuff. It has random sinks, wood, artwork, and...furniture sometimes. We found this awesome greenish bookshelf. It has a large shelf on the bottom, and the shelves gradually get smaller towards the top. Oh, it's beautiful. Then, J found a huge mirror at a consignment shop, and I found a little bedside table at a different antique store. I'm addicted.

Life as we know it

2010-05-26T08:47:00.002-05:00

Life has been crazy, fast, slow, different. Married life...where do I begin? It's definitely a change-having to think of someone else, do twice as much laundry, share my bed, write my new last name, and pronounce/spell my new last name for everybody I encounter. I really enjoy the part where I get to share my thoughts, complaints, excitements with my man-and he will listen even though it's probably not exactly what he wants to hear all the time. I remind him all the time that he is stuck with me for life... poor guy.

We did buy some bikes...kindof splurged on bikes, actually. We've only gone on maybe 5 rides. But, we're gettin' there. One evening, he rode his bike from our apartment to his brother's house for a bbq(approx. 8 miles in an hour). The other evening, we took about a 2 hour ride on the Katy Trail with some friends of ours. This morning, I was cancelled from work, and it was a beautiful morning, so I decided to take a ride around the neighborhood. Not even 5 minutes into it, a bird took advantage of my leg, and dropped a huge juicy turd. How does that happen? In my life time, I have been pooped on about 4 times. I've had this conversation with J, and he never believes me when I tell him I've been pooped on that many times. Am I the only one who is hated by birds of all kinds? Who knows. That's the story of my exciting life as of today.

So close, and yet so far!

2010-04-01T10:58:00.002-05:00

Well, it's finally hit April! It feels like it's taken forever to get here. But, at the same time, time flew. On Saturday, it'll be 2 weeks until the day! Joel and I were actually walking around New Town, St Charles last night...once again looking at the place where all the action will take place. It was so exciting to think-this is where I will get to marry the guy I love. Next week will be my last week at work for 3 weeks. I don't know what I'm looking forward to more-having 3 weeks off, or getting married. Ha ha...kidding. Can't wait to see all the family and friends come in from out of town, and get to meet the people that Joel loves. 16days....Well, hopefully I'll be on the ball and be able to post again before the big day. Goodbye for now.

Hours...Minutes...Seconds...

2010-03-10T21:20:00.005-06:00

Isn't it funny how people make an "anniversary" for everything. I used to poke fun at my friend who would say "tomorrow is the 7 month anniversary since we met", or "the 4th month we've had our house." But, I've become one of those people. Not that I make a big deal and feel like I need to go celebrate each and every anniversary, but I think it's neat that yesterday was 3 months since we got engaged. Saturday will be 6 months since our first date. A week from today will be the 1 month countdown until the wedding. Yes, I've become one of those goofy people. And you are now subject to hearing about it.

amzGemz

2010-02-18T13:10:00.003-06:00

I've finally done it. I opened a little shop on Etsy. Don't know what Etsy is? It's a website where people sell things that they make by hand. Everybody's always told me "You should sell what you make!" I never really wanted to put forth the effort. I just liked making gifts for people. But it's come to this. Maybe if I get really rich, I can quit my job. HAHA. The shop only has a few things on there-a couple of crocheted stuffed animals that I could find pictures of, and my wedding bouquet. The shop is called 'amzGemz'. We'll see how the whole "running a business" thing goes. Oh, and 58 days...til I'm a married woman...WOW!

Sounds like a plan, Stan!

2010-01-10T11:08:00.002-06:00

Weddings are hard work! The first week we started planning, we started off with the big stuff-where to have the wedding. We called/researched a lot of places, but they were either too expensive(everybody marks up prices when they hear the word wedding) or booked 'til infinity and beyond. It really overwhelmed me, because it seemed like we would never find somewhere. Of course, we found a perfect spot-and it's at a reasonable price too. One thing we don't want to do is go into debt over one day. Most girls grow up knowing what they want for "the big day", but I had no clue. I knew I wanted my future husband there, and that's it! Like my mom always says, "I didn't care that it was raining, I didn't care where we got married! I just knew that I wanted to marry your dad." So, simplicity is the name of the game. Not a lot of frills. Enjoying the day with my man, my family, and close friends. 3 months and 7 days! Yeah, baby!!

Going to the Chapel.....you know the rest

2009-12-10T10:44:00.004-06:00

I can not believe I'm posting this. I got engaged yesterday. Yes, I know what everybody's thinking "wow, isn't that a little fast". Trust me, I've had to answer that question countless times-even to my own grandmother. I've also been asked countless times how he proposed, and according to him, I don't use enough detail when I tell the story. So here goes... He's been in a medical study for 8 days. So, he got back yesterday. I had my blinds open, so I could see when his car arrived(he doesn't know that). When he pulls up, he gets out of his car with a big bouquet of flowers. Then I hurried up and shut the blinds, so he wouldn't know I saw him. I opened the front door right as he was coming up to it. He was carrying his laptop and the flowers. I'm trying to snatch a hug first thing, but he says, "Take the laptop, put it somewhere out of the way. No hugs, no hugs!! Take the flowers, sit on the couch." I pretty much knew at that moment he was going to propose. So, I sit down, he kneels in front of me, and pulls out a yellow folded-up piece of paper, and said "I wrote this during the study." It basically mentions all of the qualities he loves about me...no, I'm not going to name any of those, because...I wouldn't want to embarrass myself. Then he pulls out a business card...so much involves business cards in this relationship. He then proceeds to read me the vows he wrote and wants to share on the wedding day. He stands up, and says "Hold on, that's not it! There's one more thing." He pulls off his jacket, pulls a box out of the pocket, and asked me if I would marry him, also informing me that was the only time I would ever see his hand shake. I, of course, said yes. So, now, let the wedding plans commence!!

Everyday starts with a Smile

2009-11-07T09:00:00.005-06:00

Well, he's out of town for 8 days. I have so much respect for women whose husbands travel for their job. It's terrible to be separated! Although, I must admit, absence does make the heart grow fonder. From the "good morning" texts to the "good night" phone calls, all through out the day, he checks on me to see how my day is going. I am so fortunate to have met this man. I think the first week after we had met, I heard this new song on the radio. Every line reminded me of him:

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed

Sing like a bird

Dizzy in my head

Spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night *(our first date was on a Sunday)

You make me dance like a fool *(we do crazy dances all the time, and I hate dancing)

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold *(people have said I glow when I talk about him)

Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile.

On another happy note, at work, they had told me that my contract was for 2 years. But, when I looked at the contract again, it said 18 months from 6/1/08. So that means it will be up in December!! This made me so happy. Now I can go anywhere, travel, and do anything!! Just have to pray that God will show me where He wants me!

Wanna Hear a Story?

2009-10-12T09:31:00.003-05:00

A month today. Wow. The shortest month ever. Last month on September 12th, I met an awesome guy. He is my complete opposite, yet all of our views, likes, hobbies are very similar...if not the same. It's like he came out of nowhere. I met him at a furniture warehouse sale. He put my newly purchased furniture into my car...the whole time making small talk with me. I wasn't really interested...and wasn't necessarily looking for that "special someone"at a warehouse. But, when he was done, I just felt like something in me sank. I can't describe it any better than that. I felt like, "Wow, I'm never going to see this guy again. That sucks!" I never, ever, ever, ever give out my phone number to random guys,(despite how many times my friend pushes me) but really-something came over me. Seriously. I told my friend "I'll write down my number if you go give it to him." She did, and we talked that night. The rest is history. It all happened so fast. Thinking back on that day...if anything was changed in any way, I wouldn't be telling this story. I was actually supposed to work that day, but switched a shift. If I hadn't bought any furniture, if I had held back and not given my number...I wouldn't have met the perfect match for myself. You know how "God works in mysterious ways"...He's darn good at it, too. That is my story. I've gotten really behind on blogging. Maybe this story will make up for it.

Oh ye of little faith

2009-09-24T07:01:00.004-05:00

What a crazy couple of weeks it has been. Been working a lot, met a really great guy, and I move for the next 3 days into my very own apartment. (yes, I'm doing it in 3 days) It's just been a whirlwind. But, I have so many things to be thankful for. I can truly say "prayer works". God has a time, and a place for everything, and He will bring it to be when it fits in His plan. It feels like the longest waiting time, and gets very frustrating and trying at times. But, He is faithful. Don't doubt it.

Thank God for Family

2009-08-13T11:27:00.002-05:00

Awful. Horrible. Horrendous. Need I say more? That explained my day at work. Yes, it seems like I have a ton of those. But, thank God for J&A. Whenever I need another human being that's close, I can call them anytime, and "invite" myself over. That sounds bad, huh? But they always welcome me in. I feel like that's my second home these days. They are always there willing to listen to my horrible complaints. All I can say is, I am so thankful for them and I don't know what I would do without them. Thanks, guys. You mean so much to me.

The Benefits of Geriatrics

2009-07-30T10:48:00.004-05:00

Last night was a nice, calm night at work. I almost didn't know what to do with myself, but loved it! The hospital is changing everything to computer charting. So we have to attend classes so that people (that are supposed to know what they're talking about) can teach us how to use the program. My supervisers chose me to be a "superuser", so I will have to help other people who are struggling. So, after I gave pain pills, insulin, and helped all the needy use the facilities, I sat down with another nurse to go through "EPIC" with her. My supervisor ended up sitting down also, so after about 10 minutes, I felt like she was in good hands. I decided to go on my lunch break, so I got up and started taking orders from other people if they wanted anything from the cafeteria. All of sudden, behind me I hear the hugest, longest pass of "flatus"(as we call it in the nursing field)/gas I have ever heard in my 22 years on this earth. There was a patient was sitting in a shower chair. These shower chairs have a cut out kinda like a toilet with a bucket underneath, so if they instantly need to pee in the shower-voila, they are set. Anyway, the bucket has an "echo " quality to it, so that made it even more hilarious. I found myself trying to be mature and not giggle, but it was so funny. Imagine-at a nice quiet nurse's station, all you can hear is the sound of air passing-loud air passing. I laughed so hard-the hardest I've laughed in a long time. And the funny part is, I don't even know if he knew what had happened. All I knew was that I couldn't turn around and look him in his face. All I could look at was my superviser trying to continue on with her conversation, and trying to stop the "har-de-har" from coming. Oh, geriatrics, where would I be without you?

Don't these people go to school for a reason?!

2009-06-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

So, I've been growing out my hair for a while, just getting the minimal amount trimmed off of the ends for the longest time. I've even been trying to grow out the layers so it's all one length. But then, the other day, I got this "brilliant" idea to get some more long layers cut. Too bad I didn't stick with my original plan. There's something about getting a haircut that I hate. "What kind of shampoo do you use?...Well, it's drying out your hair." " You should use this kind because that kind does such & such." (But then when you use the kind they suggest, the next person that cuts your hair criticizes that shampoo). It's just awful. Anyhow, I told this lady I wanted blended layers, so you couldn't necessarily see the line across. It seemed like she had caught on, but apparently she just puts on a good show. Needless to say, she butchered my "layers" It's all different lengths, and oh...there's now words. So now I have to chop off that terrible bottom layer which too so ridiculously long to grow out. Who knows why people get so attached to hair...I don't get it, but it happens. So, I'm off to get a haircut to fix the disaster that's presently sitting on my head. UGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

This is what boredom leads to...

2009-06-15T15:25:00.003-05:00

new decor.

New Findings and Room Rearrangings

2009-06-14T20:02:00.006-05:00

Before...

And after.

painting above bed new glass vase and awesome plate I couldn't resist

I've recently gotten really into interior decorating. Maybe I should've done that instead of nursing...hmmm.

2009-05-29T00:10:00.004-05:00

Happy Birthday (tomorrow), dear Angela. You are an amazing cousin and friend. I love hanging out with you and the boys(and Jake too). I hope you have a great birthday in Chicago. You may be an oldie, but you're sure a goodie. (Ha ha). Love you.

Thank God I'm out of highschool

2009-05-20T12:43:00.005-05:00

So, the other night was my youngest brother's graduation from highschool. Although I was glad I could be there and celebrate his moving on to bigger and better things, it was an awful experience. And, yes, Jake-I'm going to blog about it. My parents got there early, and got seats up in the balcony's front row. I was excited, because we had a good view, and might have a chance at getting out as soon as it ended. Little did I realize, I should've sat with my other brother and cousin in the very last row possible. It started out with the band playing (well, it was supposed to be "Star Spangled Banner"), and it sounded like a dying cow that was being stabbed repeatedly by a dull knife. You would've thought this was the first time these kids had ever seen an instrument, or sheet music. So, after cringing through that whole song, they attempted to play another song as the graduates were making their entrance. No, it wasn't "Pomp and Circumstance" like it usually is, although it did become it halfway through somehow. As the grads came piling in, family members flocked in front of us. (Not to mention, there were late people walking in for about the first hour). At first, they tried to act like they were respectful, and knelt down to take pictures, but then they just stood up, yelled-and the crowd got so big, I was forced to lay down the law. While John walked in, we got to stare at big rear ends. I started yelling at the people to sit down-you would think there was a celebrity graduating or something. These people just acted like they had never seen their family member before. People talked on their cellphones, yelled to other audience members, screamed at random parts of the ceremony. A couple of women behind me listened to every name, and said "MmmmHmmmm" whenever they heard a unique name(which was basically everyone). At one point, a man sat next to me and started yelling to someone behind me. His mouth was about a foot away from my ear, so I glared at him. He then proceeded to pat me on the shoulder and say, "Oh, excuse me, excuse me." You got a lot of nerve, man. I just shook my head-and he eventually got up and walked away. Then, as soon as their grad's name was called-and they did some kind of animal call to congratulate them, they got up, walked in front of us, and left. So, I saw John a couple times throughout his graduation. How nice. I'm glad I could share this joyous occasion. And in the famous words of my father- "I'm never going there again". Congrats anyway, John.

Oh, lovely one who birthed me...

2009-05-09T21:31:00.003-05:00

Back when we were in grade school we had these "I love my mother because..." contests. Each student would write on this fancy piece if paper why we loved our mothers, and then they picked the best ones. If the kids were smart, they would figure out that they shouldn't write " I love my mother because she buys me things..." That phrase was a no-no. I think I won once... of course. ;P Anyway, I thought I would write an "I love my mother because..." blog. Here goes. I love my mother because #1) her love is unconditional. No how many smart aleck(sp?) remarks, no matter how many tickets, no matter how many screw-ups: at the end of the day-we know that Mom is always waiting to not rub it in our face, but to forgive and help us get out of our mess. #2)She didn't stop having kids after she got her daughter. I used to complain about being the only girl, but I'm glad I have 4 brothers to look out for me. It's actually a very special thing. #3) We're very different, but yet we get along just great. 4)She knows pretty much any trivia fact/what actor starred in which movie and what year the movie came out. We're going to make you go on one of these tv shows someday, Mom. 5) Her respect for my dad. When other women are busy bashing their husbands, she stands behind my dad in everything. That used to drive me crazy when I was little, because I thought if Dad said no, I could still get Mom to say yes. But, they would stick together, and that unity is something that I respect them both for. I could keep going, but I have to work early on Mother's Day. Mother Dear, I love you, and there is no one else in the world I would rather be the only girl with, than you. I am so glad we are not only mother and daughter, but also friends. Happy Mother's Day.

Continuing the list...

2009-05-02T22:40:00.004-05:00

#3. the Tide pen. Have you used one of these yet? Pure magic. Don't know how it works, don't frankly care how it works, but glad it does. It takes out pen, chocolate,...try it on anything. You must get one if you're one of those people that can't go a day without spilling something on yourself.

More sun, please.

2009-04-28T11:56:00.003-05:00

Another thing to add to my "inventor awards" list: the sunroof. GENIUS. It's such an amazing feeling to be able to drive with the sun beating down on you, yet your hair is not all over the place. I love driving with my windows down, but on the highway it can get a little crazy. But, the sunroof just works out great. So, so far on my list: 1. electric blanket 2. sunroof Stay tuned for additions.

Tears...

2009-04-23T01:10:00.005-05:00

It still doesn't seem real. It's been almost 2 months since you "went with Jesus and became a superhero" (as Zane would say). The emotions hit me at such obscure times. I was thinking this morning- about how you have a new granddaughter, and she'll never get to meet you. It's Zane's birthday today, and you couldn't be here to enjoy it. Two of my brothers graduate next month and you won't be able to watch them walk the stage. I'm teaching myself how to play guitar, and I wish you could hear the only 2 chords that I have down. I made a new purse Monday, and you were always so excited about little things like that. Of course- you kindof got me started on sewing. John's birthday wasn't the same. I kept waiting for you to jump up and offer to help my mom serve coffee, cut the cake, and dish out the icecream. Then, you would always be the first one to start collecting the dirty plates. You always wanted to help. I miss hearing about your haircuts, and how they always cut it wrong. Just the other day, we played a practical joke on Jake. Jake made such a big deal about these special socks he bought for his half-marathon, and he was really excited to show them to us. While he was putting the boys down for a nap, Uncle Ken switched Jake's socks with some PINK soft fuzzy ones of yours. (yes, your husband still has humor :D) I said, "Jake, so, where are these awesome socks of yours?" He goes to pull them out of the bag, and his face was priceless. He looked like he saw a ghost. He looked like he was going to freak out a little bit. It was great. Somedays, I wonder if you are listening to us, or watching us. I think about your huge mansion, and hope you're saving spots for all the rest of us. I really, really miss you.

new babe

2009-04-21T22:22:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday, little Evangeline Karis.

Welcome to the world. I can't wait to meet you.

You are already loved tons, and you don't even know it.

Congrats, Daniel and Ariella. Love you guys.

Love Auntie Grace

Slowwwwww it down.

2009-04-13T23:32:00.007-05:00

I heard a song the other day. I've heard it before, but this time I actually listened to the lyrics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6slibTD9MF0&feature=related It's called "I'm in a Hurry and Don't Know Why". I thought it was very fitting to life these days. "...Don't know why I have to drive so fast My car has nothing to prove It's not new But it'll do zero to sixty in five point two I'm in a hurry to get things done Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun All I really gotta do is live and die But I'm in a hurry and don't know why... " I like to drive fast. It's one of my faults. So sue me. The first verse is so true-I actually think about it a lot. Why do I have to be 2 cars ahead instead of lingering behind ol' grampa who's going 10 under the speed limit? Why do I feel like I have to be first? We're not even going to the same place! I think it's just the rush it gives me. Some people have drugs, some have football; me-I like to go fast. Even when I leave too early to be somewhere, I still speed to get there, but I'll just drive around to kill time-instead of just going slow and getting there on time. It's a disease. Why does life have to go so fast? Everything except for work, that is. Work goes by slow, but my days off zoom by. But if I don't do something on my day off, I feel like I'm being lazy. Days off are supposed to be lazy! I watched a movie today, and some guy said "I take one day at a time. Yesterday's gone, and tomorrow's in the future." It just wacked me on the head. It seems like a "duh" statement, but think about it. I spend so much time either thinking about something that happened yesterday, looking forward(or dreading) what tomorrow brings. How is that right? Just concentrate on taking one step at a time. And I'll just have to keep reminding myself to slow down.

Give me a P! Give me a D! Give me an A! ...on the other hand-please don't!

2009-03-22T20:45:00.007-05:00

P.D.A. aka public displays of affection. What do you think about it? I understand if two people are on a date or something and it's only them two (there still should be some limits). Now, if there is a couple and they are hanging out with some single friends, I think it is a good idea to hold off on the PDA. Have you ever realized how awkward it is for a single person to have to hang out with a couple that are holding hands, or constantly touching each other?! I know that you may be in love, but that is not really the time to be showing your undying love for your significant other. Maybe this idea has been passed down from my parents, but I think it's a good one. My parents have never been ones to outwardly display affection, but you can tell that they love each other nonetheless. They know that it could be awkward for the people around them, and instead of making people feel weird, they would rather make people feel welcome. And now, occasionally, I'll see them hold hands or even just look at each other a certain way. There is a time and a place for PDA, or so I think.

The sun'll come out...when?!

2009-03-18T21:37:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I feel like people get sick of hearing about my stories and complaints about work. So, I'll post them here...for all the world to see. If you truly are sick of listening, turn the other cheek. Anyway-for the first time today, I thought about quitting nursing. It started off as an ok day-5 patients(once in a blue moon assignment) and then got gradually worse. Around 2ish, one of the supervisors called me into her office where she had a piece of paper. "This is our call light policy, and in January-you had 3 long call lights( which means the light wasn't answered in a specific amount of time). In February, you had 7, and so far in March- you've already had 7. So I just need you to sign this piece of paper saying that I informed you of this policy." Sure. I will be glad to sign my life away-who knows what you'll do with my signature. When they see you have a long call light, they don't take into account if you were on lunch break, or in an emergency situation, or putting someone on the pot. Their small little minds are looking through straws. So, continuing on in the afternoon-after 3, I had 9 patients. It was going fine until about 6:30 pm. DUN_DUN_DUNNNNN. Someone put one of my confused patients back in her room after dinner rather than leaving her by the nurse's station(where we can make sure she doesn't fall flat on her face), and of course, with my luck-she fell. While I'm dealing with that situation, I have another patient's son come to me and say "Hi, I just have a few questions, and would like to look through the chart when you get a chance." Yeah-how 'bout I get right on that for you...and while I'm at it, I'll clip your toenails. Don't you see the blue smoke coming out of my ears?! Then, I have another confused patient getting ready to "go back home to Ballwin" and while packing her nightgowns-her bed alarm keeps going off. Another lady-continually yells- "Nurse" whenever she sees any movement in the hall. And when you answer her light, she just wants you to rearrange her photos of her son on her tv. "Move that one to the right, put this flower behind the picture-but make sure to have the note showing so when my visitor comes, she can see it." So, needless to say, when 7:00 came around, I was so irritated and flustered, that I had gotten nauseous. AND YOU THINK I'M GOING TO FRET ABOUT LONG CALL LIGHTS?!?! Isn't it enough that I'm just trying to keep these people alive?! When I got home, I was so furious, that I searched and searched online for the president of the hospital's email address (and then I looked at nanny jobs-HA). While I'm busting my butt, the supervisors are in their office "playing boss". One time, another nurse was really busy, and she asked one of the supervisors to get a blood pressure. The suprvsr goes to find ANOTHER nurse to get the blood pressure because either she's too lazy or doesn't even know how to get a blood pressure. Who are these people, and what did I get myself into?! Wow...this probably seems like a very mean and cynical post, but this is my everyday life, and I need to change it! If you've made it all the way through this post, I commend you, and thank you for letting me vent. I guess all I can say now is...tomorrow is another day!

N.A.T.

2009-03-10T20:49:00.002-05:00

Thankyou for always wanting to know the little things that I had done during days at work. Thankyou for writing little random cards that showed you were thinking of me. Thankyou for always coming to my birthdays. Thankyou for letting me use your dining room table for my apartment. Thankyou for always dropping off a casserole or lasagna when my mom was out of town. Thankyou for always telling me you were praying for me through every big and little event. Thankyou for all your funny stories. I am so glad I was blessed to have you as an aunt. I will always love and miss you. Love, your neice.

Heads I win, tails you lose.

2009-02-15T22:14:00.004-06:00

People amaze me. I was looking at my Facebook page today(I know, I know). I ran across some pictures of a girl I was friends with in highschool. Only, there was something different. During, and a few years after highschool, this girl was dating a guy, and it was like they couldn't keep their eyes off each other (I don't know how she got through school). Anyway, in these recent pictures, she is seen with different guy. I don't know him, and frankly, I haven't talked to her in quite a long while. But something struck me. How many times can you give yourself to guy after guy, after guy? Isn't it weird being "in love" with one person in June, and then, in a relationship with a new person in July? Maybe I'm nieve, but I can't seem to comprehend relationships these days. Everytime I see people getting their hearts broken, I'm grateful that I have waited all these long years of my life(;P) for the right man that God has for me. And I only want one. No experimenting in this category!

16 hours of my life..........gone

2009-02-05T13:58:00.004-06:00

I was going along with a normal work day yesterday. It was approximately 10:00 am, and my supervisors called me over. "Grace, would you be willing to work until 11:00 tonight?" (I had gotten there at 7:00 am which would make it a 16 hour shift). Inside I was freaking out a bit, but I figured, I might be able to get something out of this. "Ok...if you'll give me tomorrow off." They agreed to give me 8 hours off, but I have to go in for 4 hours. Not bad, not bad at all. Anyway, the shift was going fine, busy, but no emergencies. But I didn't get a lunch break until about 7:00pm, and I was charting until 12:30am. I was taking it well, until about 9:00. After that, all I could concentrate on was not having a breakdown. I tried not to raise my voice at the people who pressed their call lights every 3 1/2 minutes. I tried not to throw the beeping IV poles through the window. I tried not to let my legs collapse, even though every bone in my body felt like a noodle. I tried to still make jokes and make my patients feel at ease. I succeeded at all those things, but it was incredibly hard. By the end of the 17 1/2 hours that I ended up being there, I was determined that I would NEVER work a 16 hour shift again. And, boy, am I sticking to that! Thanks for listening to me rant! I'm off to work 4 hours, and then I'm going to enjoy my 3 day weekend. Nobody better call me to ask if I can pick up a shift on the weekend! The answer is obvious.

Unfamiliar

2009-02-02T21:14:00.003-06:00

Well, I sent in my application for the Big Brother/Big Sister program and I'm pretty excited. I've wanted to do this for a while now, but just haven't had the time. But since I'm working less shifts, I have more free time. I so look forward to having a young kid to be a blessing to. I don't have a lot to give, but I want to be an encouragement to a someone that may just need someone to spend time with. So, we'll see where this goes.

No such thing as a stupid question...ha...

2009-01-10T01:40:00.002-06:00

Today one of my patients asked me "So...when is my sore throat and hoarseness going to go away?" I kinda just stared at her because I didn't know that it was a serious question. But she was serious, alright! How does one go about thinking of an answer to that question? "Um, well, ma'am...God has kept that information confidential-would you like me to call Him up?" Please, lady-think before you talk. (well...in her case...think before you mouth your words).

That's the end of my shivering!

2009-01-08T00:35:00.003-06:00

I recently had a birthday. Don't ask me how old I am. That's rude. ;P Anywho....I got an electric blanket. Ariella-you think whoever invented the crock pot should receive an award? Oh, boy. I know who deserves a fatty paycheck. The inventor of the electric blanket. I can't believe I've gone through life this long without one. So much for our high heating bills. You can turn off the heat for all I care. Everyday I look forward to going to bed just so I can be under my electric blanket. If you don't have one-you need to go out and get one RIGHT NOW. That's the end of my advertisement. I'm going to get warm.

I love my job.......wait-love?!?! HAHAHAHAHA

2009-01-07T02:15:00.005-06:00

Monday night I realized what my New Year's resolution should be. I realized it after I had spent my whole night at work on the phone with one patient's family members. ALL night. They would take turns calling me-telling me how to do my job. So...the next night-I vowed to not take crap from people this year. I'm not going to let people walk over me, and treat me like they are better than me. And I actually got to use it last night. I walk in my patient's room to answer his call light, and this is how the conversation went (no exaggeration)...Me:"Did you need something?" His wife glares at me and says in a very piercing voice, "Yes. You need to get the maintenance man in here to fix this tv because I'm the only one doing anything about it." I didn't even waste any breath on her. I just looked at her and walked out of the room. I of course got the maint. man to get a new tv, but I'm afraid that if I opened my mouth, it wouldn't have been good. I had never even met her, and she feels that she can just treat me like trash. No... I'm not going to play Mr. Nice Guy anymore with people that treat me like that. It may sound harsh or bad, but I usually try to talk to people professionally, and appropriately-it just goes too far sometimes. So...that's it. My New Year's resolution. Tada.

2008-12-04T01:12:00.004-06:00

I'm gonna be real with you now. Prepare yourself. For a long time now, I have been praying for God to give me a desire for Him. It's like I've been longing for Him, but haven't really done anything about it. I started thinking something was wrong with me (well, I already know there are a few things ;D), but isn't every Christian supposed to love to read the Bible, and love to spend time with God? I wish I could be one of those people that can just sit down and read the Bible for hours. That's one thing I've always envied about my Dad. When everybody is watching a movie or something, he will sit in his chair, put his reading glasses on and just read. I've always wondered...how can he find that interesting enough to read it for hours? But recently Ican say God has given me a desire to read His word. I decided to start from the beginning. So I'm in Genesis. Yes, I must admit, I miss a day here and there, and am not very far...but it's a work in progress. So as I've been going along, I've been writing things down that catch my eye, and are either interesting or odd to me. Here's a list so far: Have you ever noticed that the only specific animal God mentions creating is the whale? He mentions cattle, and fowl of the air, and...whales.

When Adam and Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they understood good and evil. Why was that a bad thing? (besides the obedience thing). And why was it there...just to tempt them?

Why does God always call to people as if He doesn't know where they are. "Adam, where art thou?", "Cain, where's Abel?"

Would Adam and Eve have had any children, if they hadn't sinned? God makes childbirth sound like a punishment..."I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children..." I guess maybe if you ask a woman giving birth-she would think it is punishment too.

Gen. 3:22 - "And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever..." So, if the only way Adam and Eve were to live forever is to eat of the tree of life-why did God guard it from them?

Why didn't God respect Cain's offering? I'd be mad too if God blessed my brother's offering, and not mine-just because they were different things.

Why did people live so long back then? 500 years? Geez! Would that be the same amount of time as 500 years today?

Gen. 6:6- "And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.". I understand that in the days of Noah, people weren't exactly holy, but that seems like a harsh thing to say.

And I thought it to be interesting that in Gen 7, when God was telling Noah to get all the animals in the ark, he keeps mentioning "the male and the female". He doesn't just say it once, he says it like 6 or 7 times...a couple times on the same verse. I think he might have been hinting at something? What do you think?

I'd like to hear some feedback, if any of you have any. And I'm sure I'll have more questions and comments as I keep reading. For now, I'm calling it a night.

Christmas...already?...Are you sure?

2008-11-22T13:17:00.006-06:00

Well, even though it is before Thanksgiving, we have our Christmas tree up already. My roommate put it up last night...which is perfectly fine (less work for me!) :D I really like it though, and I can see why people like to leave these things up all year. Here are some pics.

Forgive me.

2008-11-15T00:20:00.004-06:00

Heyo. Well,...what is new with me you ask? Oh...absolutely nothing. Worn out. Waiting for retirement. HA. This is going to be a completely random post. These pics are just of some decorating(new couch covers and pillows) that I've been trying to do. Trying to make the apt more homey (when I have time). I'm hoping to go to 12 hour shifts soon so I will actually have some days off once in a while. Trying to keep up on the blog. That's about all I have to say right now. Have a nice weekend. If you need me I'll be at work...for the rest of my life. :D

Corn Maze

2008-10-21T00:57:00.001-05:00

We went to a corn maze on Saturday. It was a beautiful fall day-one of those that you never want to end. Here's some scenic pics. :D

Sing a Song

2008-10-20T00:11:00.003-05:00

I have the cutest patient ever (I'll call her "A"). She just lies in bed with her eyes wide open taking in the world of skilled nursing and making random comments. I don't even know if her and her roommated know each other exists...because every day A will ask..."who is that girl? is she sleeping?" and on and on. A's roommate (she'll be "B") is a bit of a different story. She'll start breathing quickly if you just tell her..."ok, we're going to get you up for dinner now". [wheeze wheeze wheeze]. The anxiety quickly sets in, and the other day I was kindof just over it, and I guess she could see I was frustrated.

She asks: "do you not like me?" "what? of course I like you." "well, I love yooooou." she replied in her deep southern accent. How could you not just smile at that? It was so cute. So anyway, for some odd reason I had that kid's song in my head "I don't know why she swallowed that fly...perhaps she'll die..." So random, I know, but I couldn't help but sing it out loud. I was singing it in a silly voice as I was giving B her medicine. She just looks at me and says "you have a terrible voice". I just laughed and said "well, show me how you sing." She goes "ok, do you know this song?...amaaaaaaaziiiinnng graaaaaace, howww sweeeeeet the soooouuund..." and she sings the whole verse missing all the right notes, but I sang along. Then I got her roommate involved. When B would go to the bathroom, I would ask A what song she liked to sing. She started off with "Gimme that old time religion", and then we followed it up with "you are my sunshine." It was so rewarding and entertaining to see these little ladies faces light up with singing...instead of just sitting and watching their toenails grow. So everytime I went in there, we would sing the night away. It was one for the books, I tell you. :D

New Life

2008-10-15T01:11:00.004-05:00

I'm back and blogging. I just set up the wireless internet in the apartment, so now i don't have to sit right next to the tv to get on the internet. Independent life is good--wild, and interesting, but fun. We finally threw out the last of the trash and boxes from moving day. And I just got my tub unclogged after a week of having to use my roommate's bathroom. Yeah, you would think they would check these kinds of things before moving new people in, but nah...they don't care. They probably already have my name of their hate-list because everyday I find something new that needs to be fixed. It's their fault. The whole schedule around here is pretty crazy. My roommate and I work opposite shifts, so we'll go days not knowing if the other one is alive...the only way we know-is the other person's car, and notes that we leave each other complaining about how bad work is. I'm excited to do some decorating for fall, and hang things up on our bare walls so the place looks like people live here. I also look forward to having people over for BBQ(we'll have to get a small grill and patio furniture), and possibly some dining room chairs. That's life as of today, I'll let you know if anything changes.

Life lately

2008-09-18T02:56:00.003-05:00

Wow...it's been a loooooooong time. I wish I could be one of those people that has something clever to say everyday, but somehow I can't. Maybe because I'm a career woman now. HAHA. That's so weird. It's so nice just having to go to work, and not worry about when my next test is or when I have to wake up for class. Just seeing everybody go back to school this semester makes me never want to step foot in a classroom again. It's like every fall, just thinking about school, something in me dies. The feeling of having to go back to school is just awful. I am now taking my own group of patients at work. It's nice having the same group of patients every day--well, it has it's pros and cons. PROS: I get to know what the patients like, how they function, when they want their pain meds, and get to know their individual personalities. CONS:I have to work 5 days a week, some of the patients have control issues and feel the need to remind me that I have to do this bandage at this time, and don't forget to do this after that...and on and on. I struggle sometimes to keep a smile on my face rather than a "you just told me that 5 times" face. My lovely mother can tell you that I'm not fond of people repeating themselves. :O Anyway, I like my job for the most part. There are some coworkers that don't exactly pick up any slack...or pick up anything at all. But mostly, they genuinely care about the patients and do what they can to make the sick people well. On another note, I am moving in about 2 weeks. I am pretty excited considering that I will be on my own, and be about 10 minutes from work. On the other hand, I'll be a bit farther away from family(but not out of reach, mom, don't worry! :D) and friends. I never really thought of all the things that a person has to buy to live somewhere! Goodness. But, I have lists prepared so I just have to get a couple of carts at Walmart and toss things in. I am off to bed- the clock says it's time. Goodnight.

Just call me RN!

2008-08-03T14:06:00.003-05:00

Soooo...it's official! I'm a registered nurse! I just found out that I passed boards! I'm in shock...Thankyou sooo much for all your prayers! It's been a tough road, but God has truly brought me through every step of the way. So, now hopefully I can use my nursing to glorify Him, and serve others.

High on paint...

2008-07-01T16:22:00.004-05:00

So I just got done painting my room. A lot of work...but I love how it turned out.

Even if some other people don't (they shall remain nameless).

Just after tearing the wallpaper off.

It was bad.

Beautiful orange.

This pic makes it look very bright. It's like a burnt orange.

Right after finishing up.

This is the finished project...except for hanging pictures up, etc.

There goes my life...oh, wait...no it's gone.

2008-06-25T16:44:00.003-05:00

Hey everybody. I'm back. Long time, no blog. After a full week of hell,-oops, I mean RN orientation/sitting in a chair for 9 hours every day/listening to info I've heard for 2 years/not getting to sleep in........I've started as a graduate nurse doin' my thing at a post-acute facility/nursing home. I really like it so far. The staff(with a few exceptions) is very accepting, and the "seasoned" patients are so friendly and cute. Just some of the conversations I will have in one day will make it all worth it. And then, on August 1st, I take the NCLEX/"boards" which I am dreading more than I would if I were having a leg amputation. But, hey, prayer and studying goes a long way, huh? So, we shall see. I'll keep you updated.

Pinning

2008-05-20T17:48:00.000-05:00

It happened on May 16, 2008. It's official.

AHHHHHHHHH!

2008-05-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

So...I took my final yesterday. I did not feel good at all about it. It could've gone either way-I could've passed barely, or not passed at all. I was actually kindof convinced that I was not gonna pass. I figured out that I could only miss 50 points out of 200 and still pass the class. They told us..."We'll have your grades up online before we leave." No-so not true. I was stressing out all night last night-leading to bad dreams about my grades...blah, blah, blah. They finally had them up today, and I checked it with caution. I stared in shock at my grade. I got a 170/200. I think that's the best I've done in the two years of nursing school! I keep checking it to make sure they didn't make a mistake and mix it up with one of the smarter people in the class. I'm still not convinced...and it hasn't set in. But, the good news is...the grades say that I'm a nurse. Now for my thankyou speech...I would like to thank: God: He has given me little hints all throughout this nursing program that He was by my side. I am convinced that this is what He wants me to be doing. Mom & Dad-thanks for all you comforting speeches when I was convinced I was gonna fail. John(&Mom &Dad):thanks for dealing with my roller-coast moods and emotions and not killing me. Katie: "promising me that I would pass"-even though you were freaking out inside. Grandma: thanks for praying your magical prayers that do the impossible. I owe you. And everybody else for your faithful prayers and being convinced that I was gonna pass. I kept wondering how you guys could be so confident when I wasn't. (Uncle Ken, Aunt Nancy, Jake, Angela, Becca, Hannah). I love you all, and seriously couldn't have made it through without you. (Wow-I feel like I'm accepting an Academy Award).

I don't know why

2008-05-05T21:04:00.002-05:00

He never ceases to amaze me. Yesterday, in church, I said-"God, please just give me a verse I can hold onto this week. One verse that was mentioned was Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart." It really hit home 'cause as you can tell in the last few blogs it hasn't been the best semester. I have been barely hanging on a string-grade wise. But, today, He came through, like He always does. I don't know why I don't just learn already. I took a test today-and had to do really well on it to have a chance to pass this semester. This morning, I prayed, "I just need a 100 out of 118. Just 100." The test went well, and I happened to get 102/118. Above and beyond my expectations. :D I don't know why He still lets me keep coming back. If I were Him, I would be like-Grace...that's enough chances-you're done. GOOD thing I'm not God. Like Grandma said, "Grace-you should be on your knees right now, praising God." I am, I am.

Are we there yet?

2008-05-01T20:04:00.001-05:00

I have 4 class periods left of this semester and I am stressed as ever. Passing or not, I will be so amazingly relieved that it is finally over. I just want to scream.

Too much stress for one girl to handle

2008-04-16T21:27:00.004-05:00

Last week, I had a meltdown...of course school-based (what else would it be?!). I haven't been doing too well in this last semester. So, last week I was adding up my test scores, trying to figure my grade--and it all added up to a 59%(and I need a 78% to pass). I FREAKED out tremendously. My heart about sank to the core of the earth. I went and talked to my parents (bawling and everything)-saying... "I have no chance of passing. I'm never gonna be a nurse. It's not meant to be. Prayer doesn't work. Blah, blah, blah." They took time out to convince me that it's not the end of the world if I don't pass. I can just try again. Then, my mom said "Are you sure you didn't add wrong?" HA...a nursing major add wrong? NOT me!! Mind you, all this was after an exhausting 12 hour shift so my brain was not completely functioning correctly. Anyway, I went back and added it all up. Yes...I am announcing once and for all that I'm not a mathemetician. I added up wrong. I have a 76% as of right now-yes 2 percentage points below where I need to be, but I have 3 tests to bring it up.

Oh, and about 2 or 3 days after that, my mom and I were doing some thrift shopping and I was looking at cheap books. On the bottom shelf something caught my eye. It was an NCLEX (the big exam nurses have to take to be legit)review book. A couple years old, but $1.50. The funny thing is, I was just going to go to Barnes and Noble and buy a $40 review book. A sign? An answer to prayer? Maybe. God has a crazy way of letting us freak out and get ourselves in a jam...then showing some small token that He is still there. It looked like He wasn't answering prayer...when I didn't pass my last test. But He had a different way of answering-"Get your act together, and study harder." I don't know. We shall see what the future holds. As for now...I have to get to studying the immune system. Goodnight.

Oh, P.S. I'm sure a few more prayers wouldn't hurt. If you want. :D

Do you see what I see?

2008-03-24T12:55:00.002-05:00

This was from the other day I spent with the boys.

They love Mr. Potato Head glasses. They are too cute!

A Hop, Skip and a Jump

2008-03-24T12:35:00.003-05:00

Have you ever thought about how crazy people go to get a close parking spot? It's insane!! The other day my mom and me were walking out of Office Depot to our car. I see a car pull in a space that is about 3 spaces closer to the entrance than ours is. But he didn't stay there for long. He realized that there was a space that was 2 more spaces closer than the one he picked. So, he backed up and pulled into the space that was about 5 feet closer. People are so lazy, it's incredible! Then, there are those people that will hold up a whole line of cars to wait for someone to backup-only, the people that are supposed to be backing up have 3 carts full of unnecessary crap that they have to load in their trunk. So, about 20 minutes later...when you could have already been done with your purchase, and sitting on your couch with a bag of Doritos, they get their long awaited parking spot. Oh, and those little handicapped doorhangers that people hang on their rearview mirrors-ha! What a joke! They get their close parking spot...and they get out of their car-and half of them could probably jump rope to the entrance. It's a silly (no, lazy is more like it) world we live in.

DISCLAIMER: I understand that some people fully deserve their "handicapped" license plate or sticker-I'm not judging you.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

2008-03-04T11:10:00.002-06:00

So it's March 4th and we're getting the snowfall of the century! Well, maybe not, but we're basically snowed in. And to think it was just 75 degrees on Sunday. Hey...I'm happy as long as I get out of school. Happy, happy, happy. Enjoy the winter wonderland that's a couple months late!

When life hands you lemons...apparently that means get divorced...

2008-02-29T21:10:00.003-06:00

So I was listening to the radio this morning. I turned it on in the middle of a discussion on divorce. The radio host was having people call in and say how many divorces they had gone through. Most of the people that called had divorced at least 3 times. One lady was 30 years old, and had been divorced 4 times. 4 times!! Are you serious?!?! Then, she said her mom had been divorced 8 times. What goes on in people's minds? When things get hard...that's your answer--get divorced? Then I start to wonder...how do they succeed in life? OR do they? They sit in a cubicle-and when the project they are assigned to do is too hard-do they quit? When their kids irritate them to no end...do they quit and walk out on their kids? You can't walk away from everything!! Life is hard. Life has hard times-work through it. I guess you could say- I don't really know anything about being married or whatever...but I know that God is big enough. If He walked out on us-"divorced" us everytime we screwed up...wow. We would be up the creek just coming out of the womb. And I guess that's what's missing in marriages these days-(well, I'm positive)--God. I'm so fortunate and thankful to have all kinds of examples of God-centered marriages. My parents, uncles and aunts, cousins...I look up to you guys and respect you immensely(is that the right use of the word?) :D

Was it a Big Puddle or a Little Puddle?

2008-02-24T17:16:00.002-06:00

Ok, picture this...you're about to wet your pants because you've been out all day and haven't had a chance to go to the restroom. You bolt to the restroom in the next store you visit. But it's not that easy-just to walk in the stall, sit down, and go. You frantically have to go from stall to stall...because #1 toilet hasn't been flushed-and you can tell the previous person had to be sitting in there for a while (if you know what I mean). Toilets #2, #3, and #4 don't have toilet paper, and we've all been there before. And looking at lucky toilet #5, you would think a storm just passed through because of all the drops on the seat. Don't you just hate it when you go to sit down on a public toilet, and the whole seat is wet? I mean, for real, how does a person completely miss the bowl and urinate on the seat? And even if someone has problems backing up correctly, they should atleast have the decency to go, "hey-wow, I have terrible aim...maybe I should wipe that off because it came out of my body...and no other person in their right mind wants to sit in a puddle that I left." What is this world coming to when no one cares enough about the next person to clean up there own mess. Or maybe...they do care, and that's why they leave such a wonderful surprise. Oh goodness...

Birthday Bash

2008-01-23T00:44:00.000-06:00

So, today was my friend's 21st birthday, and we decided to go play Bingo. Go ahead, release a chuckle. It was just like the movies! There was this huge room full of old people, and depressed people trying to win a couple bucks...well, more like a hundred or two. We walked in, and everybody just stared at us as if we had 2 heads, and 3 arms. We had not the slightest idea of how to play, so we kindof just had to teach ourselves, with the help of this really sweet older lady-who you could tell was laughing at us on the inside. I've never felt so much like an outsider! Bingo is such a crazy game/experience. You start off, full of hope down to your toes, thinking..."What's so hard about this? If these people can do it, I have a much better chance because I have what-50 years on them?" No...so not true. These people make Bingo a sport. They come every Tuesday night, and they buy several game boards so as to increase their chances of bringing home the dough. Us little nieve young'uns only bought one game board...shows how little we know. So, anyway...you get closer and closer to getting a whole row filled...or a "kite" or "mickey mouse face outline"(the more complex they get...the more money that round is worth), and your hope builds as you think to yourself..."wow, only 2 more spaces...what am i gonna do with this money when I win?" Your mind wanders around the block once or twice when suddenly you hear an old crackely voice yell at the top of their lungs "BINGO!!!" Your hopes and dreams are immediately shot down because that voice you heard was not yours, and you feel like everything that you've worked so hard for(haha) is lost forever. But it's not! Because, there are 20 rounds! 20 times that your hopes and dreams rise and fall. It's a horrible trick of a game, but it's terribly addicting and fun. So,... we'll probably go back sometime. Happy Birthday, Katie! :D

Call the waaaaaaahhmbulance.

2008-01-21T14:49:00.001-06:00

So, as I was driving today, I watched an ambulance pass me with it's special little siren on. Oh, how I wish all the other cars would part like the red sea for me. I've always wanted to follow an ambulance or fire engine and see where the excitement leads. I might get in trouble for running those red lights right behind them, but hey-you only live once, right? ORRR...I could just install a siren and sparkly lights on my Buick. That would be sweet.

Happy, happy, joy, joy...

2008-01-14T00:38:00.000-06:00

So, the day before I turned 21, I asked God for a promise that I could hold onto for this year. The verses He gave me when I was reading were Psalms 102: 26-27 -"They shall perish, but thou shalt endure: yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment; as a vesture shalt thou change them, and they shall be changed: But thou art the same, and thy years shall have no end." It was pretty much the perfect verse. Even as we all get older, change, wrinkle, shrink, sag, spot, lose hearing, etc., etc., God is always the same perfect God. The same God that loved us millions of years before we even existed. I want to be changed this year.

I'm abruptly changing the subject now...giving you a heads up.

"Our ancestors believed in two worlds, and understood this one to be the solitary, poor nasty one. We are among the first to believe that we can find our happiness here completely on earth. And our search for it has actually produced unhappiness. The reason is that if you do not believe in another higher world and you think this is your only chance of happiness. Then when you are denies happiness in this world you aren't just disappointed, you are in despair."-Peggy Noonon

This was one of the quotes that was in the church bulletin this week. The pastor was telling us about all(well, not all) the instances through his life where he always needed more. Whenever there is a new trend...the thought goes through your head that "once I have that_______(fill in the blank), my life will be complete."And then, something better comes along. Then you need that to make your life complete. It's never ending...and I'm just as guilty as the next person--if not worse. There's some song, or saying that says "there's a God-shaped hole in all of us." It's like a watching a little kid try to put a puzzle together. It can be quite humorous. What comes to mind is a puzzle that Zane and Eli have that has different animal shapes, and when you fit the right animal in the empty spot, it makes that animal's sound. You can't put the bird piece in the cow's spot, because it just would never work out--you might get a mutant sound. Just like we have only a spot that God can fill, but we keep trying to fold and warp...maybe a new house, pair of shoes, a car, a relationship or a job into that shape. It will never work out. I want so much to be content with God, and God alone. Because until then, I will never be truly happy.

Getting Old

2007-12-14T22:16:00.000-06:00

Hello, hello. I am officially done with the semester as of yesterday. I wish I would never have to give up this feeling of accomplishment, and excitement, and fearlessness. I actually passed my second-to-last semester of nursing school. I'm scared-I'm going to be a nurse in about 5 months! I'm excited-I can't wait to see where God wants to send me to take care of and hopefully be an encouragement to everyone I run into. I'm in awe-I never thought I would make it this far. It seems like just yesterday I was graduating 6th grade. And in 19 days, I'll be legal. It's hard to face, but I have to grow up. More sooner than later, I'm afraid.

Bittersweet

2007-11-14T18:08:00.000-06:00

At church, we are going through a series called "The Joy Church" in Philippians. A couple of weeks ago, I never expected to be hit upside the head just from what was being preached on, but lo' and behold I was. The pastor was talking about how when we don't get something we want, or aren't at the place we want to be or with the people we want to be, we have the tendency to get mad and bitter at God. Of course no one will be the first to say "I am bitter at God." Though, I have to admit that I was. It was just over a little thing, but everyday I woke up frustrated, walked around frustrated, and went to bed frustrated. Only, I didn't sit down and lay it all out, and realize, "Hey, this is not just frustration, this is bitterness. Why am I bitter at God for this?" Those couple of hours sitting in church that day, was when it hit me. And when something like that hits you, it's not a feather pillow-kindof feeling. It's a metal bat type. It seems so "harsh/sinful/dirty" to admit "Wow, I am bitter at God for this or that." But the truth, is a lot of times we are. And if we don't see it and repent, it grows, and it's extremely hard to get rid of. Of course it's not all scary, because we have the God we do. One of the sentences the pastor said was,"It's when you feel most disappointed in God that He is doing the greatest work." It's because in those times, He is bringing us to the end of ourselves. Of course it's gonna hurt, we're going to feel like, "why is HE doing this to me?!?!" We have to be selfless, for God to do anything. It's an amazing peace that He brings when we say, "yes, I have been struggling with this, God, forgive me for my bitterness and anger at you."

I learn so much when I least expect it. But isn't that usually how it works?

School, Work, and More School

2007-11-02T15:27:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. School is going kindof crazy this semester. Oh, wait...that's just me going crazy. It seems like my life consists of waking up, school, work, then trying to catch some winks before I have to start over again. I will be extremely happy when I get over with this school stuff. It can't end soon enough!!

New Relative

2007-10-06T14:16:00.000-05:00

Congratulations, Daniel and Ariella on the new little girl. She's beautiful, and I can't wait to meet her. You'll have to come down just so I can babysit. :D

Big things

2007-09-27T00:17:00.000-05:00

Well, well, it's been a long time. Life is quite crazy at this moment-no, make that every moment. It feels like I haven't just relaxed in a million years. It's so easy to get stressed out with everything that goes on with school, or work, or just life. Sunday morning, at church, the pastor brought up the verse Psalm 73:24-26.

"Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever."

I've been finding myself getting so caught up with my own life and stress, that I've lost sight of the big picture. God is so much bigger and life is so much bigger than me. When things are so overwhelming, I need God to be my strength.

Patience on a Platter

2007-09-12T19:06:00.001-05:00

Today was kindof a frustrating day. Between homework, learning how to start IV's, redoing homework because I got too many answers wrong, and everything else- it's a lot to handle and enough to stress a person out! After I got done at the hospital on the verge of exploding, people were all driving extremely slow everywhere I went. So, I prayed, " God, please just give me patience." And what do you know, almost immediately, I run into traffic on the highway. What a funny way God answers prayer sometimes. "You ask for patience, ok...why don't you sit in this traffic for a little bit." If we ask for it, He might just give us an opportunity to learn something.

Oh, on a side note, I did get to see 2 C-sections in the operating room. It was ridiculously cool.

Eli's birthday and so much more

2007-09-09T23:27:00.000-05:00

So we just celebrated Eli's first birthday today. One of the things I look most forward to is spending any time I can with our whole family. When we're all together, it somehow just feels like all is right with the world. Any little excuse to get to see the fam. is good enough for me.

Love you all.

2007-09-08T15:45:00.001-05:00

I was driving home today, and I saw a man walking with his three kids on the sidewalk. There was grass between the sidewalk and the street, but then they came to a part where the sidewalk met the street. Almost immediately the man pulled the youngest boy to the inside of the sidewalk away from the street. Of course the kid thought he was just fine and kept pulling back. The father stood his ground, and made sure the kid was safe. This is something we don't usually take notice of because -duh, parents should always look out for their kids, right? I found it really cool. People usually are only looking out for their best interest, but this man wasn't. He would rather be hit by a crazy driver than have his son take the hit. So many times we want to be closest to the street. "Let me go, God, I'm fully capable of doing it all by myself." But, God, knows that any time a car could come and take us out in a matter of seconds. He always has the best for us. He knows what's ahead, and wants to protect us. We have to be willing for Him to yank us to the safety zone, and not struggle back.

In Honor of Labor Day

2007-08-29T15:19:00.000-05:00

So we just started our OB clinical rotation at the hospital. I saw a birth today, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It's just hard to fathom how everything works, but it was so awesome to see a living baby pop out of this woman. The parents were so happy and emotional, and I still can't believe I was able to see it. Maybe I'll work in labor and delivery someday! ;D

Breaking Stuff

2007-08-24T11:57:00.000-05:00

I just remembered that I owe Daniel and Ariella an apology. When I was up in Chicago, Ariella and I were driving back and forth from their old apt. to their new apt. As we jumped in to grab some stuff, Ariella said, "Here Grace, start the car, I have to throw something in the dumpster." So, I stick the key in the ignition. But it wouldn't really go in, so I pulled it out, and....the key broke......in the ignition. So, while I was freaking out, I yelled out to Ariella, "UHHH, ARiella...the key just broke off in the ignition. I watched her facial expression go from peaceful to "WHAT?!" So, she told me to get some of Daniel's tools that would get it out. I ran up to the apt. and grabbed some, all the while trying to look calm so he wouldn't ask why I needed them. But, he asked, and I told him the key broke off in the ignition. "Are you serious?!" And then, he just broke out in laughter. Ariella had already gotten the broken key out with a bobby pin when I got back to the car. So, I'm sorry again that I broke your key. I didn't do it on purpose. :D

Weekend in Chicago

2007-08-21T00:26:00.000-05:00

Chicago was great. I helped Daniel and Ariella move some little stuff into their new apt. on campus. We put together some baby furniture, and realized there's only about a month left. Time flies. While I was up there, we went to the EV Free church that they used to attend. The sermon was on 1 Cor. 13. Whenever I hear people preach on that chapter, I always think-"Yeah...ok, love...that's easy. How many times can you preach on that chapter?" But, it was all really practical. It was about 7 distinguishing marks of love. Love's patience, generosity, humility, courtesy, restraint, joy and consistency.

Patience-Love expands your capacity to deal with difficult people. We all have those difficult people in our lives. No names, please. How do we know we are truly loving? By being patient.

Generosity-Love is generous not only to people who have less than us, but also affects how we view people who have more. Do we rejoice with people who have more because God has blessed them? Or, do we want what they have?

Humility-He showed love in not only what he displayed, but also what he suppressed. He had the absolute right to be so proud, and to flaunt his perfection, but how would that have reached out to people?

Courtesy- Courtesy is the oil in the machinery of human relationships. If you really love someone, you want others to believe the best about them. Love brings out the best. So many times we have the tendency to complain about my sibling did this, my parent did that. But how is that showing love? When you love someone, you don't want people to think bad things about them, but so many times we get confused.

Joy-How many times do we secretly get happy when something bad happens to someone? "Ha, they deserve that for what they did to me." Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

Consistency-Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Always is said 4 times in one verse. Love is always seeking and hoping the best.

Oops, sorry that's so long. Just wanted to share a little bit. So long, farewell.

A Day At the Magic House

2007-08-15T01:11:00.000-05:00

Zane ready to get his license!

Zane shopping-he knew exactly what he wanted!

Eli really excited about something!

There goes Eli trying to drive!

(Nebraska) You can almost see his halo!

School...do I dare utter those words?!

2007-08-15T00:23:00.000-05:00

So, I start school in about 5 days. How depressing is that!! Though, I am kindof looking forward to it because we're supposed to be doing a OB clinical. I'm really excited about that, and also, only one more year 'til I'm official. Watch out, Jake. (He always says he would never let me be his nurse). We'll see. I'm going to be in Chicago for the weekend to visit Daniel and Ariella, which I'm looking forward to.

Achy Breaky Heart

2007-08-14T00:07:00.000-05:00

"Learn to use feelings of loneliness as an opportunity to draw closer to God. A girl once said that she saw loneliness as God's call to her heart. 'When I felt lonely, I would think, God is calling me back to Him.' During these times she learned to pour her heart out to God and talk with Him."
So many times we get caught up with-"I'm not able to talk to anybody, I wish someone would just listen to me." Yes, I admit I find myself thinking it is much easier to talk to someone in person. But, God is aching for us to be able to talk to Him about anything and everything. I want to have such a relationship with God that He is the one I cry out to, talk to, and rejoice with. "What a friend we have in Jesus."

Proceed with Caution

2007-08-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

I've been reading again...and thought this was interesting about guarding your heart.

"Picture guarding your heart as if your heart were a criminal tied in a chair who would like to break free and knock you over the head. In other words, protect yourself from your heart's sinfulness. Keep a wary eye on your heart, knowing that it can do you damage if it is not carefully watched. 'The heart is a deceitful above all things...'(Jer. 17:9). Though the advice of many well-meaning people today is to 'follow your heart', the Bible warns that your heart can lead you in wrong, even deadly directions. Our hearts lie. Something can 'feel' right and be completely wrong."

"Too many of us are blissfully unaware of how deceitful the core of our beings can truly be. When we think 'heart', we picture cutesy, red, cutout valentines. But often, if we'd really examine our hearts, we'd find lies, selfishness, lust, envy, and pride. It's like discovering your sweet old grandmother's picture on the FBI's Most Wanted list at the post office."

How true is this? You will always hear people say "follow your heart". But, when you think about it, that is the last thing you should play follow-the-leader with. When you follow your heart, you're basically just saying, "Hmmm, what do I want at this moment? What does my heart want? What will benefit me? What feels right?" Instead, we should be before God crying out that He would direct us and save us from our selfishness. When we wait for God's timing, and his will to be shown to us, we are choosing His best for us, and not what our sinful heart is telling us.

Let go, and let God

2007-08-11T11:36:00.000-05:00

So I've realized I can't change people. As lame as it sounds, I'm just coming to the realization that it is just not in my power. The only thing I can do is pray. It's a hard thing to learn, because I feel like there is always something more that I can do. But, I guess it's just the whole question of committing and letting go again. I have to pray, and let God be real and be who He is. There it is. I'm letting go.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand...

2007-08-10T00:09:00.000-05:00

I just got off after working the evening. Right when I was about to go home, we got a new patient admitted to the floor I was working on. She was an older lady-as in her 100's, and she was quite the combative little lady. We were getting her all set up in bed when she starts turning and grabbing us, and so on. I tried to talk calmly to her and get her to relax, and she just grabbed my hand. So, I just stopped and held her hand. What do ya know, she calmed down. It's amazing what just a hand to hold will do for someone. It's always nice to know someone is there right by your side, and cares for you. That's exactly what Christ does for us. Here we are trying to fight our way out of something or get our own way, and there's God saying, "Grace, just relax. I'm here." And sure enough, He's by our side, wanting to hold our hand. On that note,....I'm going to enjoy my 3 days off work. ;D

My Preciouusssss...

2007-08-07T23:06:00.000-05:00

So, I've started a new job...well, about a month ago. It's tough, and it kinda wears on ya. But it kinda puts things into perspective. Here are these people who have been in car accidents, lost loved ones, just had a major surgery, and the list goes on. And some of them are still smiling! It makes me think, what would I be like in their situation? Would I still have joy, or would I be looking to pass blame on someone? I have been given so much, yet I daily lose sight of what God has done for me. I was reading a while ago and there was this story...

"One day a boy who has a bag of marbles proposes a trade with a little girl who has a bag of candy. The girl gladly agrees. But as the boy gets out his marbles, he realizes that he cannot bear to part with some of them. Rather dishonestly, he takes three of his best marbles and hides them under his pillow. The boy and girl make the trade, and the girl never knows what he has cheated her. But that night while the girl lies fast asleep, the boy has no peace. He's wide awake, pondering a question that nags at him: 'I wonder if she kept her best candy, too?' Like that little boy, many of us walk through life plagued by the question, 'Has God given me His best?' But the question that we must answer first is 'Am I giving my best?'"

This story just hit me while I was reading it, because for some reason I am so afraid of committing my all to God. It is a daily struggle, because I feel that if I give up everything, than I won't have anything in my power. But then I think, power and control is in itself a burden! It's when everything is in His control, and I don't have to worry about it....that's freedom! He HAS given His best, His all for us. Am I willing to give mine?